How to tell someone you are not interested in dating
I don't need to know how you're choosing to see other people when I'm sitting right beside you.It's this overly aware kind of recognition that makes the interaction feel forced, like you're checking me off a list of people you've seen.When it comes to being honest with someone we don’t know well, though, how much of our thoughts about them are they entitled to?After a recent date that didn't go well (although there burritos involved), I decided to put that question to the test and tell my suitor why I wasn't into him.It's strange to acknowledge all the other people you could be meeting when you're on a date with somebody else. I’m bad at ending things, and I try to give people a chance, if solely for the fact that a Chance is a fantastic and moving rapper, and everyone deserves a piece of that.This bad date didn’t get any better, though, and instead somersaulted into a progressively more awkward encounter as he drilled me about my music taste and blurted out, "Hmm, what should we talk about now?
I recognized the scene in one of his photos — the greeny-blue of the water in the Roman Baths in England. Our messages were infrequent, and we were absolute sh*t at finding a date to meet.
" It felt like an interview rather than a conversation. "Well," he mused, "she wasn’t really an ex." His overeagerness to share was abrasive.
Toward the end of the evening, as he walked me toward my train, I made a joke about the benches in the middle of the road. I didn’t want to know the intricacies of how he defined relationships with other people. Tell me your favorite color and how good it felt to vote for your favorite candidate. Tell me about the scar on your left shin and what shenanigan it’s from. After the Thanksgiving holiday, I decided to text him how I felt: Hey!
(Oh, and that I’m hilarious, clearly.) The fact that I’m honest and upfront might be thrown in there, too.
Blame it on me being a writer or a Gemini — I like talking out what I’m thinking.