Early stages of dating relationships
Different attachment styles can lead us to experience different levels of relationship anxiety.You can learn more about what your attachment style is and how it impacts your romantic relationships here.It will completely distort reality and undermine our own strength and resilience.It’s that cynical roommate that always gives bad advice. Just put your guard up and never be vulnerable to anyone else.”The defenses we form and critical voices we hear are based on our own unique experiences and adaptations.Conversely, some of us will feel easily intruded on in our relationships.We may retreat from our partners, detach from our feelings of desire. These patterns of relating can come from our early attachment styles.It’s the one that tells us:“You’re too ugly/fat/boring to keep his/her interest.”“You’ll never meet anyone, so why even try? He’s looking for someone better.”“She doesn’t really love you.
Basically, it feeds us a consistent stream of thoughts that undermine our happiness and make us worry about our relationship, rather than just enjoying it.
For example, imagine your partner stays at work late one night. You may act angry or cold, which then sets your partner off to feel frustrated and defensive.
Sitting home alone, your inner critic starts telling you, “Where is she? Pretty soon, you’ve completely shifted the dynamic between you.
As we get into a relationship, it isn’t just the things that go on between us and our partner that make us anxious.; it’s the things we tell ourselves about what’s going on.
The “critical inner voice” is a term used to describe the mean coach we all have in our heads that criticizes us, feeds us bad advice and fuels our fear of intimacy.