Dating safety tool
— so I summoned my next-door neighbor, a woman, for help. There isn't much privacy, but you'll be grateful for the presence of others if an unpleasant situation develops. I once had a coffee date with a woman who grew increasingly angry — and vocal — over her mistreatment by an ex-boyfriend. If a coffee date shows up with a bad attitude, a bad temper or a foul mouth, head for the door. You might ask, for example, if your date has close friends: A "yes" indicates he or she is capable of connecting with others; a "no" suggests a lack of intimacy skills. If you're unsure, consider asking another couple to join you.
The two of us spent 45 minutes coaxing my surprise head case to leave, but it took a threat to call the police to finally get her out the door. If your date refuses to meet at a cafe or insists on a less public place, simply move on. When she turned her attack on me, I got up and left — and was thankful for an audience to witness my exit. Do likewise if he talks about becoming sexual after 15 minutes, or attempts to corral you into a relationship. I was enjoying a second date at a restaurant when my companion took a call during dinner. "I'm just fine," she told the caller, then stowed the phone with an apologetic smile. My current girlfriend (whom I met online, by the way) invited me into her home after only our second date.
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Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA.
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